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Sunny Destinations
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31 years old. Blonde. Blue eyes. Mother. Daughter. Girl Friend. Friend. Race car driver. World Class Waitress. Anxious for more? 2004 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April If you must go, go here.
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Photos by: StockStash Graphics by: Twisted Creations |
| Oh my god, they killed... |
| 12.15.04 (4:58 am) |
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This morning we woke up to Cold. I mean it's really freaking cold out there. It dropped down to 22 degrees here last night. That's freaking cold in Texas! Every morning I take my daughter, a.k.a. The Drama Queen, to school. Well, one of our games we play is counting Santa's. Seems everybody and their neighbor around here has those damn inflatable Santa's. They are popping up every where. This morning on the way to school, we are driving along, quietly, neither of us is really awake yet. And out of no where, my little DQ blurts out in her best South Park voice.. "OH MY GOD, they killed Santa!" It was sad, there in a heaping pile of whatever they make those things out of, was a slaughtered santa. May he rest in peace... Oh how I love that little girl! She made my day. |
| 12 Comments |
| I'm Done, damnit! |
| 12.13.04 (7:46 am) |
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The ones who know me best, know that when I'm done with something... I'm done. Much to the dismay of my ( now) ex boyfriend, who corrects me every damn time I say it. "you're not done, your finished." To you: (ex) boyfriend.. I am so fucking DONE with you . Thank you so very much, for making this, that much easier to do! Seriously dude, you rock. Your childish fits of temper and incessant whining have made it remarkably that much easier to walk out and never look back. No, seriously ya'll I ain't bitter. |
| 12 Comments |
| Never again... |
| 12.08.04 (6:41 am) |
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Jenn, I never again want to hear these words leave your lips!! keep reading |
| 3 Comments |
| What do I know? |
| 12.06.04 (11:14 pm) |
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It’s 3 a.m. and I’m lying in bed tossing and turning. Struggling with what must be done. I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do. Why then is it so hard? For sometime now things between us have been wrong. We both know this but have perfected the art of denying it. It’s time to face the music. It’s time for us to own up to our mistakes, learn from them and move on. How you ask? If only I knew… How do you tell someone that you love them, but have to leave them? How do you start over, mentally, emotionally and financially? I don’t have the answer to any of these questions. Contemplating them scares the shit out of me. What do I know? I[i] know [/i]that this will suck, in a BIG way. I [i]know[/i] that with the love and support of my family and friends I will get through this. I [i]know[/i] that after all the heartache, I will have learned something and be a better person because of it. This I know. |
| 11 Comments |
| Breaking up is hard to do… |
| 12.06.04 (11:33 am) |
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Okay, so it’s no big secret I’m currently in a bad relationship. I’ve admitted it to myself, and I’m working on it. In the meantime I have managed to throw myself into “relationships” with other men, to ease the pain. I’ve since come to realize this is not a good idea, so now I’m breaking up with these men. continue |
| 4 Comments |
| Thanksgiving and all that ensued |
| 12.01.04 (8:34 am) |
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The holidays have become rather stressful for me. With having to drive from house to house to please everyone involved, it gets a little tense. This year was no exception; Turkey Day was spent spending the afternoon with “B’s” family and then the evening with mine. Nothing really worth bragging about it, everything went smoothly, but maybe that was because of the Xanex I was popping like tums?! Maybe? This year though, there was a third stop, and fortunately for me, I didn’t have to worry about it on Thursday, because this year they had it on Saturday, after thanksgiving. With so much planning going into this, it’s a wonder I didn’t back out. Thanks to Jenn and her most wonderful husband in the whole wide world, there was absolutely no way I was getting out of going. To read more go here |
| 3 Comments |
| With a heavy heart |
| 11.22.04 (11:09 am) |
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As much as I hate to go, it's time. I'm tired of tblog and the frustration just isn't worth it. I will keep this blog up until my subscription is up, but for now you can find me here.... A Blonde Moment Please come visit me... |
| 6 Comments |
| The Boxcar… |
| 11.21.04 (9:32 am) |
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How do you top a post like =http://jennsabsent.tblog.comJenn’s ? I really don’t think it’s possible, but she insists that I give my perspective! First of all let me just state that Jenn was SMOKIN last night! You looked good girl, and you know it! Yes, I was very uncomfortable last night, at first. Once the Tuaca took over I was A. O.K.! I’m just not really used to hanging out in “joints” like that. Here where I live I am minutes from SMU and all the “brats” that go there. These people are so much more uptight than those that frequent the Boxcar. I have to tell you though, you can’t measure the amount of fun we had last night. We played pool, and I actually beat Jenn! (one out of three) I’m not so sure that she didn’t give it to me though, but hey, I’ll take it! This place truly defies every cliché there ever was! It’s out in the middle of NO WHERE and you couldn’t find it unless you knew it was there. Its total occupancy is 165, at best last night there were maybe 35 people there. I honestly would much rather be in a place like that over any of the bars here on Greenville Avenue! These people know how to kick back, relax and just have a good time. It was nothing like the “meat markets” I’m used to here. The hardest part for me is the music. I’m not by any means a country music fan, but there was a steady stream of Lynyrd Skynyrd on the Juke box, while the band was on break, so I managed! I even danced, yes, I admit it I did the two step last night! And yes Jenn, it is just like riding a bike…you never forget how! Although I’m not as good as I used to be. In all honesty, I’m excited about going back. We were supposed to go check out this new place up in Addison on Wednesday night, but that got changed after last night. I would much rather hang out at the Boxcar! It’s allot like Cheers, everybody knows your name. p.s. Jenn, the ONLY thing that would have been better than last night, was if I actually got to make out with Ben Burnley! |
| 1 Comments |
| All about last night... |
| 11.21.04 (9:10 am) |
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If you want to know about last night, please go here ! I just don't have the words like she does... |
| 2 Comments |
| Look out.... |
| 11.20.04 (2:48 pm) |
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Jenn and I are having a girls night out tonight!! A MUCH needed girls night out, I am so very excited!! Much love to all, hopefully I'll have loads of funnies to share... |
| 2 Comments |
| FYI |
| 11.18.04 (10:22 am) |
| A hamster can survive three days without food or water. However by then they are delusional, scared shitless, and will bite you! |
| 13 Comments |
| Update |
| 11.17.04 (5:26 am) |
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It's time to post something new, and I have nothing, so I opted for an update! Josh moved in with us for a little while, just till he gets back on his feet. So far so good, he's been great, but it's crowded with another body and another dog. We'll get through it, and it's better he's here with us! I have had several job interviews, and I have one later on today. The last interview wants to hire me, but hasn't decided just when. I can't wait around so I'm still hitting the pavement. Sooner or later that perfect job will be found! I got to spend some time with Jenn last friday. She's doing really well. Busy as ever with the kiddos, I miss not getting to spend that much time with her. Life gets in the way sometimes... I colored my hair, myself and it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it. After several tries I settled on a strawberry blonde, it's a nice change, for now. I'm sure I'll get bored with it before too long though! lol We lost a hamster, two days ago. We've searched the entire house from top to bottom and there is no sign of him. Bethany took it better than I thought. We haven't given up hope of finding him, yet. Even though I haven't commented much lately, I am here, still reading everyone's blog. Promise! We got invited to San Francisco in January. All expenses paid, we just have to bring spending cash. I'm very excited about this trip, but not sure I will actually get to go, it just depends on the job situation. I'm crossing my fingers, this would be such a nice vacation for Billy and I. We've never had one together... |
| 7 Comments |
| Closer is better |
| 11.09.04 (2:09 pm) |
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Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That’s just the way it is. Hopefully through the “bad” things, you learn a “good” lesson. This past weekend was to date the worst weekend of Billy’s and my relationship. We as a couple were tested. I’m proud to say we came out ahead of the game, so to speak. He has a problem, and it took me giving him a swift kick in the ass to realize it. I’m happy to say that when it came down to it, he chose me. I’m not saying that it was that cut and dried, it was rough and touch and go for the better part of the weekend. I reached a point where I just couldn’t deal with it anymore, and asked him to leave. In the end, we are much closer, and it is better, MUCH better! |
| 13 Comments |
| Unbelievable |
| 11.07.04 (11:09 am) |
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It's November, and it's currently 78 degrees outside! Not that I'm complaining.... |
| 14 Comments |
| Guess what I found out... |
| 11.03.04 (6:08 pm) |
| That Imodium has the opposite effect on a dog, than on humans. |
| 20 Comments |
| Trick or Treat, and all that jazz… |
| 11.01.04 (6:54 am) |
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This Halloween wasn’t all at what we had planned on it being. After much confusion, arguing and rain, it turned out OK. Hey, it could have been worse right?! I tried to make this Halloween special. Bethany won’t be doing this much longer, so even I got into the spirit of things and dressed up myself. Something I haven’t done since I was about eight years old. I’m not big into the whole costume thing. It’s just not my thing. Despite this, I did find something that suited me. I was supposed to be a Gypsy, however most confused me with a Bar Wench. You decide… Bethany was a “soda shop girl”, Ally was a Butterfly, and Clayton was Spiderman. They were the cutest bunch of kids EVER!! (I’m a little partial though..) Sarah, my sister, took the prize though. Her “Southern Bell” costume was the best. I wish I had half the talent she does for sewing! All in all, it was a good Halloween. The kids had fun, despite the arguing amongst the adults and the rain. I think next year, we should just have a party and skip the house to house part! |
| 12 Comments |
| Wondering |
| 10.25.04 (11:35 pm) |
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I find myself in one of those moods. There are things, memories, places, people running through my mind at speeds that would surely break the sound barrier. I wonder how my dad is doing. I miss him so much, even though I saw him not two weeks ago. I miss the smile that never leaves his face. I wonder about all my friends that I never see or hear from anymore. I miss them greatly. Friday nights after the races hanging out at grandma’s house. Those were some good times! I wonder about him, the first man to show me the tragic side of love. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. I wonder how he’s doing, if he’s happy. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had never met these people. Empty, I’m sure… |
| 12 Comments |
| Remembering |
| 10.24.04 (7:56 pm) |
| Today the weather is gloomy, as is my mood. I’m restless but lethargic. I find myself wandering from room to room, going through things. I’ve managed to clean out Bethany’s closet as well as my own. I’ve gone through boxes that were packed from only god knows which of my many moves. I’m notorious for savings things. I literally have many (dozens) of boxes of stuff. It all reminds me of someone or some place from my past. Through the years I have managed to get rid of a lot of it. Every so often, on days like today I find myself going through these boxes, remembering… |
| 8 Comments |
| Catch up |
| 10.24.04 (1:34 am) |
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So much has been going on, it's amazing how busy an unemployed person can be. I quit the VCC, I had a slight (HUGE) disagreement with the Bar Manager and the GM, and quit. It just wasn't worth it. I am still looking for a full time job. I've got a third interview coming up next Tuesday. I think I have a good chance, but as we all know it could go either way. I sent in an application to Subaru for their "Maximum Velocity" female driver search. It was an interesting application, it was more like an essay. I'm crossing every part of my body you could possibly cross. It comes with a year’s sponsorship and a 40k salary. I haven't seen Jenn in what seems like forever. She's been pretty busy lately. Hasn't even had time to pick up the phone and CALL ME BACK! Everything else is running smoothly. Hope all is well with you guys!! |
| 6 Comments |
| How? |
| 10.18.04 (3:57 pm) |
| How do you mourn the loss of someone you barely knew, but loved very much? Saturday my last living grandparent passed away. I remember her, barely, just bits and pieces really. I know in my heart she is in a better place, she's with my grandfather again. It breaks my heart though, to know that I will never get the chance to speak to her again. I’ll never get the opportunity to know her like I wanted to. I’ll never again get that little book of life savers for Christmas. I miss her already… |
| 15 Comments |
| I'm still here.. |
| 10.10.04 (4:23 pm) |
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I'm still alive...barely. I spent the better part of the week sick with a stomach virus. It sucked, BIG time! It was Texas/OU weekend here, and it was insanely busy for us. Made loads of money though. Texas lost...again. I'm off to get ready to go to work, I'll write more when I have more time!! |
| 12 Comments |
| The fruit of my womb… |
| 09.30.04 (11:41 pm) |
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Bethany has been such a blessing in my life. Anyone with a child knows exactly what I am talking about. I never knew I was capable of love, like I have for her. Every since she was able to talk, we have a ritual at bedtime; I always say prayers with her. Nothing special, just the proverbial “now I lay me down to sleep”. Even last year when she was at my mothers, I called her every evening and we said “our” prayer. Up until recently she honestly thought it was just ours! Tonight after she went to bed I went up for prayers. The past few days have been stressful for the both of us. She’s going through changes that she doesn’t understand, and to be honest with you, I’m at a loss myself. After all was said and done, I lean over to give her a hug and a kiss, and before I can wrap my motherly arms around her and tell her how very much I love her, she says to me…"Hold on, I gotta fart." Kids… |
| 27 Comments |
| Breaking Benjamin |
| 09.30.04 (3:18 am) |
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Lately I have been scouting out new music. The other night Billy was watching MTV2 and there was a video for a band called Breaking Benjamin. I don’t listen to the radio, so this was the first time I’ve heard of them. The video was great as well as the song, “So cold”. I got curious and went and checked online for more information on this band. I have to tell you they are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands. I have also developed a massive crush on the lead singer, Ben Burnley. Also found out they are going to be here in Dallas on October 24th. They will be one of many bands playing what is called “The Freakers Ball”. Just a few of the other bands playing at this concert are; Velvet Revolver, Damageplan and Drowning Pool. Oh how I would LOVE to get tickets to this event!! Billy would love to see most of these bands as well. I thought of surprising him with tickets, however the current state of my checking account said “NO WAY LADY!!!”. So, unless I win the lottery…I’ll just have to wait! FYI….I did not get that job. It was down to two people, I being one of them. I do however have a few things in the works. The last company that hired me only for me to find out I couldn’t work there, now has three positions coming open. One of which is exactly the job I am looking for and is NOT in the same department as my mother. They are going to try and fill the positions from within before going public, so it’s a long shot, but it’s still a shot. The other is at a very prestigious family law firm not 15 minutes from my house! I’ve got my fingers crossed, but it could be a few weeks before I know about either of them. |
| 9 Comments |
| On the lighter side... |
| 09.29.04 (4:15 pm) |
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I got this via email...and thought it was amusing!! Had to share!! Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. A woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage... |
| 15 Comments |
| Intervention |
| 09.28.04 (12:16 am) |
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I have a friend…someone I consider to be one of my best friends. I’ve written about him before, his name is Josh. He and I have a friendship completely unlike any other friendship I have ever had. Outside of Jenn and my sister, I’ve always had guy friends. My best “guy-friend” in Jr. High was a guy named Cory. My mother so eloquently nicknamed him Button. Cuz’ he was “cute as a button”. We were never romantically involved; we were simply just the best of friends. He taught me how to drive a standard in his moms’ car. He was without a doubt the first man in my life to see me for who I really was. I lost him later in life to an overdose of cocaine. It was my first of many run-ins with this particular drug. At different points throughout my life I’ve been affected by the abuse of cocaine. My brother, my sister, friends and lovers have all fell victim to this demon. It ALWAYS ended tragically. It ALWAYS left a scar. I again find myself confronted by the ugly face of this addiction. I’m mortified as to what to do. Josh met a girl, a very bad girl. I have blogged about her once before. I had a gut feeling about this girl, and I was right. She opened a door and took him to a place he shouldn’t be. He has endured some very hard and trying times because of this. Not too long ago he lost his job, a very good job. He got arrested while with someone that was in “possession” of said substance. As hard as this is, and as much as I love him, I’m torn. I’m getting to the point where I normally wash my hands of the whole situation. However, I want to be his friend and help him. It just doesn’t feel like he’s in a place to help himself, and really doesn’t care too. How can I help him, if he doesn’t want to be helped? I’m really scared for him right now; today he has exhibited extreme behavior completely unlike him in every manner. He’s attempted to hide all of this from me, knowing very well how strongly I feel about it, but failed miserably. I’m asking for your thoughts, your experiences. Please feel free to lend your insight. If you would prefer, send me a private message. If you’ve ever been in this situation, how did you deal with it? If you haven’t, how do you think you would deal with it? Maybe you’ve been where he is and know what was done to help you past it? Whatever the case may be, I need help! This is one situation where I’m not too proud to ask for it. |
| 22 Comments |