|
Sunny Destinations
And she said Dooce Pinekeepers Bird's Eye View Islandartist's Blog Cyberpal's Blog Chicalookate's Blog Lynne's Blog Almsthvn's Blog Kurtmaddox's Blog Sashasmomma's Blog Aliciarose's Blog A Window Saint027's Blog Mimi's Blog Billlyryan's Blog Nullfactor Gambit3131's blog She Shines
31 years old. Blonde. Blue eyes. Mother. Daughter. Girl Friend. Friend. Race car driver. World Class Waitress. Anxious for more? 2004 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April If you must go, go here.
Yahoo tBlog Technical stuff
Days of the week
Credits
Photos by: StockStash Graphics by: Twisted Creations |
| Intervention |
| 09.28.04 (12:16 am) |
|
I have a friend…someone I consider to be one of my best friends. I’ve written about him before, his name is Josh. He and I have a friendship completely unlike any other friendship I have ever had. Outside of Jenn and my sister, I’ve always had guy friends. My best “guy-friend” in Jr. High was a guy named Cory. My mother so eloquently nicknamed him Button. Cuz’ he was “cute as a button”. We were never romantically involved; we were simply just the best of friends. He taught me how to drive a standard in his moms’ car. He was without a doubt the first man in my life to see me for who I really was. I lost him later in life to an overdose of cocaine. It was my first of many run-ins with this particular drug. At different points throughout my life I’ve been affected by the abuse of cocaine. My brother, my sister, friends and lovers have all fell victim to this demon. It ALWAYS ended tragically. It ALWAYS left a scar. I again find myself confronted by the ugly face of this addiction. I’m mortified as to what to do. Josh met a girl, a very bad girl. I have blogged about her once before. I had a gut feeling about this girl, and I was right. She opened a door and took him to a place he shouldn’t be. He has endured some very hard and trying times because of this. Not too long ago he lost his job, a very good job. He got arrested while with someone that was in “possession” of said substance. As hard as this is, and as much as I love him, I’m torn. I’m getting to the point where I normally wash my hands of the whole situation. However, I want to be his friend and help him. It just doesn’t feel like he’s in a place to help himself, and really doesn’t care too. How can I help him, if he doesn’t want to be helped? I’m really scared for him right now; today he has exhibited extreme behavior completely unlike him in every manner. He’s attempted to hide all of this from me, knowing very well how strongly I feel about it, but failed miserably. I’m asking for your thoughts, your experiences. Please feel free to lend your insight. If you would prefer, send me a private message. If you’ve ever been in this situation, how did you deal with it? If you haven’t, how do you think you would deal with it? Maybe you’ve been where he is and know what was done to help you past it? Whatever the case may be, I need help! This is one situation where I’m not too proud to ask for it. |
posted by: Paintedbat
post date: 09.28.04 (5:39 am)
Well I've never had to deal with cocain, but I have had to help a friend. You need help him, even if he doesn't want it. He is your friend so I'm sure he knows about your past and the problems drugs have caused. Explain it to him. Tell him how much he is hurting you. Open his eyes. Just don't hide anything from him.
posted by: newbie
post date: 09.28.04 (7:05 am)
Arrrgghh! How frustrating! Whap that boy upside the head for me, why don't ya?
He is too smart for this crap.
posted by: newbie
post date: 09.28.04 (7:05 am)
*Does the "I HATE tBlog dance"
posted by: almsthvn
post date: 09.28.04 (7:55 am)
Does he have other family and friends nearby that you could pull in? If he's started using, maybe an intervention could pull him back from the slippery road he's on. It's sad, isn't it. How quickly and horribly it turns.
posted by: almsthvn
post date: 09.28.04 (7:56 am)
Doh! And I forgot the MOST important thing, prayer :) Yall have mine!
posted by: chicalookate
post date: 09.28.04 (10:17 am)
My stepdad's brother is hooked on Oxycotin.... and Kim (stepdad) came up from TN to try and help him out. It didn't do any good. That is the sad thing about addiction ... people need to want to get help. Sometimes the best thing is to say "I love you, but I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore. If you decide you want help I will be there, but for my own sanity I need to distance myself from this" This is just my opinion on the matter, you need to do what you feel in your heart is right.
posted by: 14u2nv
post date: 09.28.04 (11:27 am)
Wow that is so very sad..Unfortunatley drug abuse tends to follow users throughout their lives. Even those who have long since quit, will tell you, it's a daily struggle. Anyways, my point is this. Drug addiction can be overcome, but it usually takes a terrible life/death situation to bring it about..I'm hoping that you will be there for him, when this time comes. If it hasn't already..trust me..it will..It's going to be the most traumatic thing imaginable..but maybe the only way to make or break his life.
posted by: davycrockett
post date: 09.28.04 (3:31 pm)
Almost all my friends are women, and I've always been the "guy friend." It's not that I am gay or anything, I just prefer the company of women.
posted by: nullfactor
post date: 09.29.04 (12:15 pm)
I've never had to deal with something of this magnitude, before, and I'm sorry you are faced with it. :( About the only thing that comes to mind is just to approach him. Ask if everything is okay and if there's something you can do for him. Sometimes if you offer general help, it can be enough to spark the conversation needed to give him the real help. I realize this isn't much in the way of advice, but it's all I have. I'm wishing the best for you, on this...
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (2:59 pm)
Reply to: Paintedbat
Very good advice. I've been giving it much thought these past few days, and still haven't decided just how to approach the subject!
Thanks for your view!
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:01 pm)
Reply to: almsthvn
Of all his friends, I would have to say I'm the only one that could handle this situation with compassion, the rest are men and don't have a clue what the word even means! I've met bits and pieces of his family before, there not that involved in his life, so they would be of no help. I'll figure it out, I'm not losing another friend to this!
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:01 pm)
Reply to: almsthvn
Thank you!!
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:03 pm)
Reply to: chicalookate
Thank you, I appreciate your take on it, still haven't figured out exactly how to deal with it, but I will be dealing with it. I refuse to lose another friend to this!!
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:08 pm)
Reply to: 14u2nv
I myself have never and would never touch the stuff, it's just not worth it to me.
All my previous experiences with this in the past have been disaterous, to say the least. Cory died of an over dose, I was lucky to get my brother and sister back. I had a "love" that ended up having a heart attack at 27. It's always ugly!
I refuse to lose another person in my life to this. I'm not exactly sure how I am going to deal with it, but I am going to deal with it. Hopefully it will all turn out for the best!!
Thanks for your view!
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:29 pm)
Reply to: davycrockett
From my experience, I just get along better with guys. I've always been a bit of a "tom-boy" too! Most of my male friends are straight, but there are a few that aren't...
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (3:32 pm)
Reply to: nullfactor
Thanks for your advice...it's a really bad situation right now, and it's not going to get any better until something is done. I'm still trying to figure out just how to deal with it...
posted by: 14u2nv
post date: 09.29.04 (3:38 pm)
Reply to: Daisymae
I haven't either daisy, but I too have had family members/friends that were..its a very rough road..you must be strong :)
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.29.04 (9:25 pm)
Reply to: aliciarose
How ironic that you brought up that phrase "let go and let god". It's a part of my past so to speak, and it's been a while since I've uttered those words. Very appropriate for this situation.
It just so happens Josh is here with me now, we haven't talked yet, but we are going to.
posted by: SASHASMOMMA
post date: 09.30.04 (12:11 pm)
speaking from experience...the addict....you need to talk to your friend, I agree. But, unless he hits bottom first Im not sure that he will help him self first. Cocaine, as you know, is an extremely addicitve drug and nothing else matters. Im so sorry that you are going thur this with your friend, but I also know that if you walk away it would be hard to forgive yourself. Let him know you love him and you are there. He knows exactly how ugly that drug is. But, its stronger than he his. Its been 7 years since I touched it.....but I still cant be around it. No way, shape or form. I still have dreams about it.
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 09.30.04 (4:03 pm)
Reply to: SASHASMOMMA
Yikes....we talked last night, he has a very hard time talking to me about it. Said he's been clean for five days. I have to trust him, he knows I'm here for him if he needs me!!
posted by: lindy
post date: 10.02.04 (3:11 pm)
We don't always have a choice as to whether we are going to lose another friend to something like this. It is sadly true that an addict will only be helped if the addict reaches out for it. They must want the help, they must reach out for it and they must help themselves. Otherwise, it is a hard fought and hard lost battle. Your friend will probably need to hit a brick wall before realizing he's in trouble. How many people try a drug with the intention in mind of becoming an addict? It isn't something that can be controlled like the intake of food. Though you are desperate to help your friend, short of locking him into confinement somewhere, there is little you can do to directly force the issue in making him stop. Your acceptance of this does not mean you are not willing to help him. It is simply knowing that you can't until he asks for it. I wish your friend all the best.
posted by: Daisymae
post date: 10.02.04 (9:40 pm)
Reply to: lindy
Thank you so very much! What you said couldn't be any more true! He's trying to get past this, and I made it very clear to him that I would help in any way possible!!